Am I me?

Ever had to deal with someone who makes their living dealing with hacked off people?

Case and point, EVERY single phone line customer support person you will ever talk to (someone once told me that ALL generalizations are false, so I NEVER do that anymore).

I tried to get my free credit report today, and I wish I had never picked up the phone. It seems that when they ask for your current address, you probably shouldn't tell them the truth in the following two situations:

1. You are a liar
2. You have moved

In my case, both apply; so I really should have seen that coming. Well, the address I told her didn't match the one from last year when I set up the account. So, "she" (I use the term loosely) said that she could not verify my identity at this time, since the current address I provided does not match the one that they have on file.

"Oh, no problem," said I, "I have moved since then. The new one is-"

-"Sir, since your identity could not be verified at this time. You are going to need to fax me a copy of your driver's license and a utility bill from your current address."

"You mean my recent address? Because my current address is-"

-"Sir, it has to be the current address we have on file."

"Okay, so you need my old current address."

"No, sir, your current address means the address you're living in now."

"Yes, ma'am, I'm aware of the definition of the word 'current.' Are you aware of the definition of the word 'changed?', because that's what my address has done. It has changed."

"Sir, I can tell you are a little frustrated about this situation, but let me assure you that here at ------- (name withheld to protect the ignorant), we strive to provide you with the best quality of service possible."

...
...

"So do none of your other customers ever change addresses?"

"Sir, at this time we are still unable to confirm your identity. What I am going to do now is transfer you to our corporate office, where you will be asked to verify your identity using your Driver's license number, date of birth, SSN, and current address."

"*sigh*"




This encounter has really got me thinking, though. I have thought about how much I appreciate not knowing any of those people personally, and how the invention of the telephone was a bad thing. One of the most disturbing thoughts caused by that conversation, however, was when considering the questionable nature of my identity.

Am I actually real?

Those people aren't quite sure about it, and most of them possess a lot of trans-cultural knowledge juxtaposed with at least several weeks of experience living here in the U.S.

Maybe I should be more cautious. For instance, next time I'm at Chipotle and el cashier asks me to sign the credit card slip I might just ask,

"Are you sure you want me to be the one to sign this? I'm not currently positive that I'm me."