Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Bringing Down a 12 Point Buck

Check out this video of the epic Deer Adventure

Thursday, August 26, 2010

iBlog again

I was helping Trish, a good friend of mine here at Suzuki, set up a website for her blog,, and I was convicted for neglecting mine. It's been over .5 years since I've written anything on here--my apologies. I'm aware that you have faithfully checked my site every day to see what I had to say, and that this is time you could have spent on other websites as productive as mine, such as
I hope you like the new look of the site, I changed some themes around and even made it easier for you to get here. Now you don't have to type "" out every time. I bought my .com the other day, mainly because I feared what my enemies would do with it, but also to make things easier for you. Now "" will get you right to this page.*

You're welcome.

As far as blogworthy items over the last six months that you missed, they are as follows:
1. My wife purchased an iPad for me.
2. I received an iPad from my wife that she purchased for me.

Now that blogging has become a little more convenient, I plan on doing it more. I can post from home, at work, the car, my bed, my treehouse that I plan on building someday, toilets, etc.

I'm getting acclimated to the whole car sales thing. I love the people I work with, but one thing I don't know if I'll ever be used to is how some people despise me just becuase of my job description. Today I was trying to help a gentleman that I could tell thought I was there to cheat, lie, and possibly kill him. Nothing I did seemed to convince him that I'm a nice person. He wouldn't even tell me his first name. I don't think I was there to kill him, I certainly don't remember wanting to cheat him in any way, so one of us had to be mistaken about me. Maybe I'm such a good liar since I'm a car salesperson that I have actually duped MYSELF into thinking I'm helping, but am really just trying to molest other people's financial situations in a diabolical plot to steal, kill, and destroy my way to world domination?!

Doubt it.

Ultimately, I was up front with my customer and said, "It seems to me you have been mistreated by other dealers, I'd like to apologize for our industry." He said that was true. I assured him that wasn't how we did business; most of our clients are repeats and referrals. Then I said, "In fact, your privacy is important to us, so if you aren't comfortable giving me your name, that's completely fine. Your address and Social Security Number will work just as well."

This made him laugh

Slowly but surely, we're changing the way people look at car dealerships. Even if it's one person at a time, change has to start somewhere.

*Did you click on it? Kind of made you feel silly, didn't it?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I'm surprised you guys (Ferrells) didn't hit me with this video a long time ago...


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The 80/20 Rule

Sorry about my post about Chuck. I have been listening to Tom Hopkins lately (incredible salesman and trainer). He said, "Don't complain about bad experiences or physical ailments. 80% of the people you complain to don't care and the other 20% are glad those things are happening to you."

Which percentage do you fall in?

Friday, December 18, 2009


I noticed today that I have posted 40 times on this blog page (sad username mishap--go to the beginning for the whole scoop).
Crazy things happen when you turn 40. I remember when I had only posted 20 times. Those were good times. When I was a teenposter I used to write about things that don't matter...a lot has changed since then.
Now that I am an experienced blogger, I am coming to an age where I feel validated in offering my opinion (this is a big day for me). Most of my beef with other bloggers is that their blogs REEK with their opinions; as well as sentences like, "but that's what I think and if you don't like it you can sue me or go read someone else's blog." At least I think there are sentences like that on other blogs. Most of the time I can't stomach reading what their original thought was to make it to the disclaimer at the end of the post.
I have often wanted to opine on certain issues and give blanket advice before, but have always felt the check of fearing cliche. Today I turn 41. Today things change.

Don't worry, the same outrageous puns and pointless monologues will still be there. Let me give you a taste of the new flavor (the flavor is called saysrayberry):
A thought occurred to me today: Often people give advice not because they think you need to hear it, but because they want to say it. Edify the teacher by saying with your words and body language that it's a completely new idea you had never thought of before...

...but that's what I think and if you don't like it you can sue me or go read someone else's blog

The Rise of the Cupholders

Have you ever heard the phrase “reinvent the wheel”?
It can be used in several ways:

1 I don’t want to reinvent the wheel
2 I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel
3 Let’s not reinvent the wheel
4 Refabricate the block’s successor

I am actually NOT trying to invent the wheel again; but if I did, I would add cupholders.
Cupholders are the post-modern revolution. You can’t go ANYWHERE without one being relatively close to you. Hotels, houses, boats, strollers, vehicles, desks, couches, recliners, and younger siblings usually ALL possess the capacity to hold whatever beverage receptacle you might want them to. In fact, the empirical data is leaning (if data could lean) more and more towards a world being dominated and controlled by cupholders. Since this is the case, I plan on befriending them, in hopes of becoming a high ranking official in their new regime. My first attempt at this supplication was to have Suzuki add one to EVERY door of their vehicles (commercial), and by suggesting in my blog that they be added to the reinvented wheel.
Happy Holidays, everyone. Remember to throw as many smiles other people’s way as you do elbows in the mall.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

North and South

I would like to highlight an err in reasoning on my part that occurred today.

"Is Wellington south of us?" asked one of my coworkers.

"Yes," I replied.

I try to be a thinker, and if I had to pick just one thing that separated thinkers from non-thinkers; it would be that thinkers think, and non-thinkers non-think. I have put alot of thought into thinking lately, and had many thoughtful, thought-provoking, well-thought out thoughts about what I think is a forgotten thought-process (I think). Thinkers never accept things at face-value (especially since most of them have acne, which dramatically reduces their face-value to about 27.3). I accepted this north/south issue at face-value. What was I thinking?

There is no correct answer when asked about the cardinal directions, meaning compass directions--not "Ya sed that red burd waz ware?" directions. Our north is someone else's south. So the next time I'm asked if Wellington is south of me, I'm going to be a thinker and answer their question with another question:

"Well, what is North? And what is South?"

Will they think I'm obnoxious?

Maybe, but at least I won't be lying to them.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

"I can quote things," he said

I noticed recently that I am very observant.

Whoa, hang on, that makes it true, right? I know a self-validating hypothesis when I see one, and that one is so conspicuous it might as well be wearing hunter orange.

Speaking of hunter orange, I took a 12-point buck recently with a bow. Pictures and video are pending.
Peace out

Friday, November 13, 2009

MRI (Mostly Really Incarcerating)

I'm pretty sure I know what a piece of copy paper feels like.

I have injured my left knee...again. This makes number three in two years. I thought they fixed it last time when they ripped a pre-owned ACL out of some dead guy and gave it to me, but apparently not (Don't let my misfortune dissuade you from becoming a donor).
The best part about knee injuries happens right before the injury. You know, the part where you're scampering happily down the football field, thinking, "This is so fun and safe." Then all hell, in conjunction with their corresponding ligaments, breaks loose and you hit the dirt.
The inevitable MRI occurred earlier this week. I had forgotten how much I dislike MRI's. All the buzzing, clanking, whirring, snapping, and--at least in my case--screaming that accompanies the procedure makes you feel like you're driving a 2009 Chrysler...well...anything really.
Can anyone relate? If you've ever been locked inside a Xerox machine, you have a pretty good idea. It's hotter than two field mice doing it in a wool sock in July in there, and you don't even get mouse-babies out of the deal. You get a picture of smeared, staticky, steak shards. And after all this, the doctor will say, "Well, the initial examination has proven inconclusive as to your actual condition. We're going to need to do a CT scan..."
Forget that, man. I'm doing my own scans from now on. Anyone have a used copier I can borrow?

I can pay you in mouse-babies.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My Youtube channel

Hey folks, my new Flip camera has begun to yield some interesting videos, and there are many more to come.
Be sure to check it out occasionally

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Some things never change

It never fails.

Just when you think Disappointment has beat you down to never rise again,
You are at what seems to be your penultimate failure,
You are about to throw up your arms and say, "Joy is lost. I am beaten."

It is at that crucial moment that the Lord, who is abounding in mercy, will send his messengers of Joy to remind you of a few things: He is still there, Joy is still a possibility, and you're not as bad off as you train your mind to think you are.
Last night this happened to me. His messengers were my best friends, Teddy and Samuel.
Ted, Sam, and I have been through alot. There are things about each of us that annoy the other two, but there are far more things we just can't get enough of. We all alternate being the funniest person in the room and then being the best laugher in the room.
In the good old days, we would hang out every night. Ping-pong, Tennis, FIFA, Basketball, Golf, Football, Writing, Careers (the board game), Parkour, Spelunking, Entrepenuership, and Cinematography are just a few of the hobbies that we have shared.
I had begun to think those days had melted away with our childhood, but old habits die hard.
"We gonna hang out tonight?" Teddy asked.
"Absolutely," I replied.
"Sweet. Meet me at Sam's house. You bring the cigars."

We ate ice cream, smoked cigars, and laughed until we were all so exhausted that we absolutely had to stop.

Thanks guys; I needed that.
Let's do it again soon

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Czech out the fish!

Okay, two things today.

I have a friend who is a park ranger in Colorado. He told me during his time there three men have been eaten by bears (well, what else would you get eaten by in Colorado, a shark?). The men who got eaten were camping there on vacation; one was a Czech, and the other two were Italians. Apparently, a male and female bear of the grizzly persuasion broke (more like tore) into their tent in the middle of the night and ate them. My friend the park ranger told me that the female ate the Italians, but the Czech was in the male.

I have a new gadget! The fish will chase your mouse around until you click some fish food on them. Well, I hope it's fish food, it could be bear food. Either way, just bear with me and czech out the fish!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Yesterday 20 cooporate execs from the American Suzuki Motor Coorporation came to our dealership to treat us to lunch and present us with a trophy. That's what they claimed, anyway. What they really came down for was to try and find out how we can sell more cars in Wichita, KS than anyone in any of their other 350 dealerships spread throughout the country. They followed our president around for a couple hours and took notes. THE PEOPLE WHO OWN AND RUN SUZUKI! TOOK NOTES!
Normally note-taking wouldn't excite me this much (exception: Last week when Tiger followed me around Echo Hills and took notes). However, these were not ordinary people like you and I; these were Japanese people. The only reason Japan has taken notes about anything in our country before was to AVOID recreating anything we do (I promise, I talked to Itchykawasakininja about it yesterday).
But then something even better happened: I went with my favorite coach to Emporia and played a round of golf in the best golfing weather possible.
Head of a multi-billion dollar industry vs. golfing with grandpa?

Not even a contest; especially since he got me a Jamocha shake afterwards.
Oh, and I saw this massive spider on one of the greens:

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Blessing my socks off

I haven’t posted in a while. Suzuki has me pretty busy, which is a change of pace. Ehh, it’s actually not a change of pace. It’s more like an addition of a pace, because I was pace-free in the oilfield. Now I’m hard pressed and am forced to pace myself to keep up the pace; all while trying to continually pick up the Pace™.
I have sold a few cars. Ehh, I actually haven’t sold any cars (just bear with me while I keep lying to you and then telling you the truth). These cars sell themselves; they are awesome. What a blessing to show people cars that I actually believe in under a system that is pressure-free (and fast-paced) and work with men that I genuinely enjoy and respect. #notetoself: Try to figure out why the top Suzuki dealership in the USA actually hired me#.
God has really been blessing my socks off. It’s fine, now, but towards the end of November and the beginning of December I’m going to need my socks, so He will need to bless something else off of me (Lord, might I submit sneezes as a possible option? Could you bless my sneezes off?)
Peace out