I got a new cell phone. It's a Samsung (he did, indeed) Trance. I had the same Motorola for about two.five years before that, so for the last couple days I have been as excited as a Ferrell child finding out they get a birthday party.
When I was doing research, which is by no means an activity that I have been stereotyped with doing to excess, I came across this shiny phone. I read the first line of the phone description:
"The Samsung Trance is designed for the person with an ear for music and an eye for style. It-"
Research over, I found my perfect phone.
It comes equipped with all sorts of gizmos and do-hickeys (on second thought, kids, let's call them "don't-hickeys"). My favorite is the text-readout feature. When someone texts me now, I hear a beep in my bluetooth, followed by a female computer voice reading me the text. This is all well and good, but as soon as my wife and friends found out that it did this, they started sending me inappropriate text messages. Eh, what are you gonna do?
I told a friend that I have purchased a perverted bluetooth since it keeps saying such awful things in my ear, but she reminded me I actually purchased a perverted social circle.
I would like a refund, but you can't return circles if they're square (hmm...)
Speaking of Bad Blueteeth, that reminds me to talk about Oxymoralliterations.
Oxymoralliterations are alliterations that are also oxymoron's. I.E.: Hysterical Hysterectomy, Enjoyable Enima, Loveable Layoff, Beautiful Breakup, and Spectacular Sternum Snappage.
Please, text me any others you can think of, along with any other inappropriate comments. They will be read to me whether I want to hear them or not.
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